Month: February 2017

If she didn’t burn, she’d rot.

When Jay was only two years old, his mother walked out on him and his father. Thirty-three years later, he’s feeling the strong urge to flee after the birth of his own child. The death of his father forces him to confront the mother who has always been a mystery to him. Why would a mother abandon her child? Is Jay destined to abandon his own family?

Life would’ve been easier if she’d had a sister. If there’d been someone with whom living wasn’t an act of translation

1968-1983: Yuki is adrift. At sixteen-years-old, after years of being “Yucky Yuki,” she finally has a friend.  Unfortunately, her family is planning to return to Japan soon. She asks her parents to let her stay in New York with her new friend Odile and they agree, with very little pushback. Yuki was already lonely and depressed, but she loses her only anchor when her parents leave her behind. She can’t find a place where she belongs.  Living in New York for most of her life has made her too American for Japan, yet she is still too Japanese for the Americans. She desperately wants to be an artist but isn’t very talented. She floats through life, latching onto whoever shows her interest. She is highly susceptible to toxic relationships. Her friendship with Odile sparks fast, but burns out just as quickly. Yuki’s first boyfriend is abusive, but she can’t bring herself to leave; he’s the only person who’s exclusively hers and she can’t imagine anything better for herself. Even her one chance at a healthy relationship is a giant misstep, destined to fail from the beginning. The only time she feels alive is when she’s hurting.

When I was a kid, I used to ask Dad, was it my fault Mommy left? He always said she’d just been an unhappy person. My old psychiatrist said it was ridiculous to blame my two-year-old self. I believed her, until I had a baby of my own.

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Yuki suspected all men of having some measure of violence. Some clubbed you with silence, and some relied on their fists. Feeling [his] fury, she was relieved, no longer becalmed in false gentleness.

The chapters alternate between Yuki’s coming-of-age tale and Jay’s struggle to come to terms with his mother’s abandonment, until they finally meet in Yuki’s Berlin apartment. Harmless Like You is about home, belonging, identity, and the importance of family bonds. There are no explosive revelations, but the characters’ inner turmoil is fascinating. Yuki is so passive, but I was riveted by her story. Anyone who has ever felt like an outsider will see a sliver of themselves in Yuki. During my reading I was anxious to find out why Yuki ran away and if Jay would follow the same course, but most of all I was curious to see if Yuki ever found what she was looking for.

Someday, she might be able to hold these photographs up as a lasting record of herself. People would look at them and recognise not her flat face or limp hair, but her true self, the Yuki behind the pupils. The Yuki who was the see-er not the seen.

This book wasn’t what I expected at all! I really enjoyed the first third, but I was disinterested in the college drama and romantic escapades after that point. It became a story that I wouldn’t be interested in, regardless of the setting. If you’re looking for a story about college students navigating relationships during a tumultuous time in history or if you like Sunam’s chapters, you’ll probably enjoy this one more than I did. Even though the story was just okay for me, I did appreciate the thought-provoking commentary on the corruptive power of money and the barriers between economic classes.

Seoul, South Korea, 1978: three coming-of-age tales that mirror the growing pains of a nation. Three college students from different economic classes are each trying to forge their own path. While Jisun wants to distance herself from her family’s wealth, both Namin and Sunam want to move up on the economic ladder. When middle-class Sunam has to make a choice between the life he has chosen and the life that is expected of him, he runs the risk of betraying everyone.

The “for readers of Anthony Marra and Chimamanda Ngozie Adichie” blurb piqued my interest, but my love of those two authors didn’t transfer to this novel. I think it depends on what you think of when you hear those names. It fits if they make you think of stories about regular people living ordinary lives while their country is in turmoil. However, Marra has a distinct style. Invoking his name makes me expect absurdity and dark humor. Everything Belongs to Us has a serious tone. I’ve only read Half of a Yellow Sun from Adichie, but those characters were more immersed in the historical drama. However, HoaYS did face some criticisms of being soapy.

WHAT I LIKED

• Jisun, the rebellious daughter of a wealthy businessman with political influence. She feels burdened by her family’s wealth. She has an antagonistic relationship with her father and is always challenging him, but he still has a hold on her. Jisun is determined to distance herself from him by joining the resistance against President Park Chung-Hee’s authoritarian rule. Her upper-class status makes it difficult to prove herself with the activist groups.

• Namin – Each member of the Kang family has a job and Namin’s job is to lift her family out of poverty. She spends all of her time studying, in hopes of becoming a doctor. Her sister Kyungmin works long hours at a shoe factory to help pay for Namin’s college tuition, but she’s getting tired of living for someone else. Namin is also grappling with a family secret that her parents are determined to keep buried (loved the relationship that developed from this storyline). Resentments are threatening to pull the family even farther apart than they already are.

Shame was not just about secrets or covering up. Or about failure and not having the things other people casually had. Shame was being afraid that she was from crippled, graceless stock, unworthy of the good things other people had. That the mistakes that would chart her life forever had already been made.

• The unequal friendship between Namin and Jisun – Namin and Jisun have been best friends since middle school, but they’re growing apart. Namin lives in a home without indoor plumbing, while Jisun lives in gated mansion. Namin’s family’s livelihood depends on her success, while Jisun has had everything handed to her. Jisun is completely blind to her privilege. She admonishes Namin for working so hard to get ahead, worried that Namin will become another “stupid bourgeois sheep.” She thinks Namin should be grateful to her for becoming an activist and fighting on her behalf. Namin is frustrated with Jisun’s self-righteousness and condescension, but she feels forever indebted to her for a past kindness.

• History – It showed the everyday side of oppression and class struggle that I haven’t read a lot about because many stories focus on violence and war. It addresses the labor protests, the United States military presence, the activist groups, and the activism of US Christian missionaries. I was especially interested in Jisun’s search for an activist group she identified with. Each group had its own personality: the activists who become the people they detest, the ones that demanded ideological purity, the overly-practical, etc.

WHAT DIDN’T APPEAL TO ME:
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• The structure – I prefer straightforward narratives. When a story meanders, it makes it hard for me to zero in on the message. I was really interested in Namin’s family story in Part II, so I was disappointed when it didn’t return to Namin’s point-of-view until the end (Part VII).

• Sunam – Sunam enters the two women’s lives after Namin applies to join the Circle, a club that will allow her to join the ranks of the elite. The story becomes very Sunam-focused in the middle. He’s described as “charming” and “ambitious,” but I thought he was bland, weak-willed, and entitled. Jisun and Namin even seemed flattened in his presence and their interactions with each other were clumsy and awkward. Love triangles annoy me most of the time, but it’s even worse when I don’t understand the appeal of the shared party. I was most interested in Sunam’s growing resentment of Namin’s ambition and success. On the bright side, Namin’s reaction after meeting Sunam’s family melted my heart!

“You don’t have to be a shark, you just have to be one little step ahead. And if everyone else is thinking today, all you have to do is think tomorrow.”

• The supporting characters – Juno, Peter, & Kyungmin have interesting parts to play, but they barely registered with me. Manipulative Juno is Sunam’s mentor. He’s one of the “four intertwining lives” mentioned in the description, but it didn’t feel like he was on the same level as the other three. Peter is a Christian missionary who Jisun met through her activism. Namin’s sister Kyungmin was the most fascinating and I’d love to read an entire book just about her!

Jisun learned instead that money was the least reliable measure, sliding from great value to worthlessness depending on the spender. With the same amount of money, you could feed a family for a month or a single person one extravagant meal. You could pay a man’s wages or unlock two thousand pages of vocabulary, an entire universe of words. You could clothe a soccer team. You could save someone’s life.

What I got from the story is somewhat influenced by the current uncertainty & rhetoric in the United States. The scariest thing about this story was how anything can be rationalized. When I read about the shuttering of media outlets and prohibition of anti-government activity, I think “Dictator! Bad!” But Jinsun’s father is giddy over President Park Chung-Hee’s reign. He describes President Park as a man who “gave this country back to the people.” He goes on to say that “no one loves this country more than our president does. He understands the sacrifices we need and works harder than anyone, sacrifices more than anyone. … We must pursue development first and foremost. Development first. Then democracy.” Sunam also comments on how South Korea recovered from the war more quickly because of Park Chung-Hee’s policies.

Are speedy economic rewards ever worth sacrificing your freedoms or trampling over others? What is the true cost of accepting that money? Do you have to compromise your ideals to be successful? Despite disapproving of Park Chung-Hee’s methods, many South Koreans—even a segment of the younger generation—have a positive view of him as an individual, in large part because of the economic prosperity under his reign. (See: The Mixed Legacy of a South Korean Dictator & Why Late South Korean Dictator Park Chung-hee Is The Most Popular President Ever) His daughter was even elected president of South Korea in 2013, although she is currently undergoing impeachment proceedings. It may seem incomprehensible to an outsider, but I think the author does a good job of showing why the trade-offs might not seem so bad depending on your situation.

Now he’d know what it meant to be trapped between his conscience and his pride. It was never as black and white as he thought, the decisions of love and duty.

The story was a little too heavy on the romantic drama of college kids for my tastes, though I did find value in reading it. It takes place during a specific time in South Korea’s history, but the issues it addresses are relevant to everyone. For a more positive perspective of this book, check out the starred review at Kirkus. Warning: It mentions plot points that I haven’t mentioned here, many that don’t occur until after the 80% mark. I anticipate the book all over again after I read their review, so I think part of my problem was that the conflicts I was most interested in didn’t occur until very late in the story.

If you are interested in South Korea’s political situation in the late 1970’s, you might be interested in Human Acts by Han Kang. It’s a darker read about people who were caught up in the middle of a government crackdown. Those who enjoy Everything Belong to Us might be especially interested in “The Factory Girl” chapter.

To read later: The Cultural Politics of Remembering Park Chung Hee

3.5 Stars. Twelve macabre short stories set in Argentina. It’s very dark and disturbing.

We all walk over bones in this city, it’s just a question of making holes deep enough to reach the buried dead. (No Flesh Over Our Bones)

Tens of thousands of people were disappeared or killed from 1976 to 1983, when Argentina’s military junta committed “crimes against humanity within the framework of [a] genocide.” While not overtly mentioned, the horrific tales in Things We Lost in the Fire are intertwined with Argentina’s past. Past atrocities refuse to stay buried, always lurking in the back of the collective mind. These stories take place on top of mass graves. These stories feature police brutality, depression, drug addicts, poverty, self-harm, and children deformed by pollution. The shrines to saints on every corner make all of these horrors feel even more haunting.

Many of the characters are resigned to the awful events they witness. Some of them end up not helping those in need, either because of lack of resources or helping could lead to worse consequences for themselves. In “Green Red Orange,” a man withdraws from the world and gets immersed in the deep web, where the worst of humanity is viewed as entertainment. Most of the characters are stuck in unhappy relationships. They resent their partners, but can’t bring themselves to leave.

Except for the first story, my favorites were in the second half:

The Dirty Kid – A middle-class woman thinks the homeless boy who lives across from her home is the victim of a savage murder. She can’t rest until she finds out if it’s true. She regrets doing so little for the boy, despite witnessing the terrible conditions he lived in every day.

An Invocation of Big-Eared Runt (read it at link) – My favorite! A man who leads murder tours is fascinated by a long-dead child murderer. At home, he resents how his wife transformed into a different person after the birth of their child. The quiet ending left me feeling uneasy about this family’s future.

The city didn’t have any great murderers if you didn’t count the dictators—not included in the tour for reasons of political correctness.

Among them the popularity of NF Cure capsules: NF Cure is made with natural plant-based elements that generic india levitra are essential for human health and beauty; amino acids, fiber, healthy fats, phytonutrients, vitamins and minerals. It cheap levitra uk usually takes 30 minutes to deliver a hard-on. There is huge information over the internet and levitra purchase online buy Kamagra tablets within few clicks. Pulmonary hypertension leads to exercise intolerance which can order viagra sample progress to heart failure. No Flesh Over Our Bones – A woman becomes obsessed with an abandoned human skull.

Under the Black Water – A district attorney investigates the case of two teenagers murdered by police officers. Months later, a witness tells her one of the victims has resurfaced. There’s no way he survived, so she goes to investigate. When she arrives and sees all the shrines have disappeared, you know it’s about to get terrifying! The nearby river’s pollution is bad, but it might be covering for something even worse.

Things We Lost in the Fire – After a rash of domestic violence, women begin setting themselves on fire. The old women’s conversation at the end chilled me to the bone.

“Burnings are the work of men. They have always burned us. Now we are burning ourselves. But we’re not going to die; we’re going to flaunt our scars.”

Honorable Mention:
The Neighbor’s Courtyard – A depressed social worker sees a chance at redemption when she spots a chained boy in her neighbor’s courtyard. I loved how the details of this story unraveled. It went from realistic to crazy at the very end, so I’m not sure what to think of this one!

I loved the mix of history and horror. My favorite stories were those where the line between real life and the bizarre was the most blurred. Enríquez was masterful at creating a creepy atmosphere and building tension. I could feel the knot in my stomach getting tighter as each story progressed. My biggest complaint is that many of the stories felt incomplete. The tension would reach a fever pitch and then it would just end. There were moments in each story that I loved, but many times I was left with a ton of questions and no theories to ponder. If you enjoy supernatural tales and the dark and twisty characters of Gillian Flynn or Roxane Gay (Difficult Women), you might enjoy this short story collection. I recommend reading it in the dark!
Another book that deals with Argentina during the late 70s:
<a href=”https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25387852-the-case-of-lisandra-p”>The Case of Lisandra P.</a> – It has mixed reviews as a suspense novel, but some of the most powerful sections are when people talk about their experiences during that time period.

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“Don’t think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it’s good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art.” – Andy Warhol

Routine is comforting to you. It’s familiar, reassuring. Routine makes you feel safe. Routine will kill you.

A new thriller from the author of the bestseller I Let You Go. What would you do if you discovered a photo of yourself being used to advertise a business that you’d never heard of? Zoe is flipping through the newspaper during her evening commute when she spots a photo of herself in the classifieds section. It’s part of an ad for FindtheOne.com, a service she never signed up for. Zoe’s family assures her the photo is of someone who only vaguely resembles her. They try to convince her that there’s nothing to worry about, but she can’t shake the nagging feeling that something is wrong. She finds similar ads in other issues of the newspaper, each featuring a different woman. She’s shocked to recognize a couple of the women as victims of local crimes. Is it a coincidence or could she be next?

I see you. But you don’t see me. You’re engrossed in your book; a paperback cover with a girl in a red dress. I can’t see the title but it doesn’t matter; they’re all the same. If it isn’t boy meets girl, it’s boy stalks girl. Boy kills girl. The irony isn’t lost on me.

The story alternates between Zoe Walker’s personal life (first person) and PC Kelly Swift’s investigation (third person), with occasional interludes from a potential stalker (second person).

• Zoe is a single mom who lives with her devoted boyfriend and her two adult children. Her daughter is an aspiring actress and her son’s life is finally back on track after some youthful indiscretions. Zoe is dull, but we spend the most time with her character. Her rationalization of her ex-husband’s past behavior and her ill-advised antics annoyed me. There’s a lot of focus on her personal problems. While the lack of action in the first half did make me question whether Zoe’s paranoia was warranted, the focus on the banalities of her domestic life made the story feel slow-paced.

Psychological aspects The brain viagra professional online also does a very essential act during sexual intercourse. Reading on the computer is a requirement each time a man wants to levitra online from india get familiar with these those benefits of Kamagra? Go through the information provided here is only for introduction of the medicine not use of the medicine. His best viagra pill morale was affected adversely by this accident. The Malaysians have been using the natural substance for centuries with much success. discount pharmacy viagra http://deeprootsmag.org/item8105.html • Kelly takes an interest in the classified ads after Zoe alerts her to a possible connection to the case she’s been working on. Finding a connection between the classified ads and other crimes could help her redeem herself. Four years ago, she was demoted from the Sexual Offenses Team to the Neighborhood Policing Team. I loved Kelly’s passion for her profession and her protectiveness of her twin sister. She has a victim-focused approach to police work, but she also has issues getting too close to her cases. I was rooting for her! I wish Zoe and Kelly interacted more, because I would have liked to spend more time with her.

• The stalker’s sections are short, but unnerving. I love how Mackintosh writes sociopaths. It puts me on edge!

I wanted reassurance. I wanted to be told I was overreacting; paranoid; delusional. I wanted false promises and glasses-half-full. A few days ago I worried the police weren’t taking me seriously; now I’m worried because they are.

The creepiest parts take place in the claustrophobic London Underground. We never know who might be lurking around the corner, watching our every move, and waiting for the right moment to strike. The crowds and cameras in the tunnels lulled Zoe into complacency. There’s a false sense of security because there are so many potential witnesses, but everyone is caught up in their own lives and gadgets, oblivious to the world around them. The popularity of social media adds extra concerns. How much of the information we voluntarily publicize can be used against us? There’s also an important lesson about being vigilant and trusting your instincts. There are a few instances where women’s concerns are dismissed as paranoia or overreacting. They’re asked to ignore the clear evidence in front of them. This story shows how easy it can be to dismiss our own fears, either because of outside pressure or our own desire to feel safe. On the investigative side, Kelly has to question her approach towards victims. Is a victim under any obligation to assist the investigation? Should a victim be pressured to testify against their will?

“Offenders, coppers, witnesses, victims … there’s one common thread running through them all, Kelly, and it’s that no two people are the same. Every victim deals differently with what’s happened to them; some are hell-bent on revenge, others want justice, some are looking for closure, and some”—he looked her straight in the eye—“some just want to move on.”

I See You uses an exaggerated situation to remind us of the risks we might encounter in our everyday lives. The paranoia and anxiety increases as Zoe goes from being unsure if she has anything to worry about to feeling hunted. It’s an unsettling reminder to stay alert, trust your intuition, and be aware of your surroundings. Whether you like this one will depend on what you want out of your thrillers. My feelings for I See You are similar to my feelings for David Bell’s Since You Went Away. I tend to prefer investigations or sociopaths over the parenting of teenagers, but there are always exceptions! This book was entertaining and I suspected almost everyone at one point, but I didn’t feel like I was at the center of the action.

You wake up one morning without knowing that disaster will take place that day. You do everything right, you plan ahead, chart the course, ask the necessary questions, examine the situation from all sides. You do what parents are expected to do, and yet things still break down, they come undone, they slip away, an eight-year-old slips aways and dies. There is no destiny at play. This death comes at the end of a string of decisions small and large, steps taken or not, resolutions made too long ago to leave visible traces, and behavioral patterns that, like canyons in forsaken lands, sediment so slowly that they seem eternal.

The death of one’s child, of an eight-year-old even is as infinitely sad [in Belarus] as it is elsewhere. But it finds its place within a universe in which stability, control, and justice are not rights or expectations but aspirations perhaps even delusions, In the universe, bereaved parents are not culpable in crimes against nature or civilization. They do not have to allay the fears of others or their own by huddling in underground bunkers.

Owen went so fast and violently, Berl so slowly and deliberately—in slow motion—almost—that, in both cases, it was impossible to register what was happening until it was over.

I had a complicated relationship with this book. The writing was exquisite and I was amazed at the brilliance of the author, but there were also long sections where I felt completely lost.

The tide runs out but never runs in. The stones roll downhill but do not roll back up.

What I’m about to write doesn’t even begin to sum this book up! President Abraham Lincoln’s beloved eleven-year-old son Willie passes away after an illness. However, Willie doesn’t realize he’s dead. He’s stuck in a transitional phase with other ghosts who populate the cemetery. On the evening of the funeral, Lincoln returns to the cemetery and cradles his dead son’s body. The ghosts are amazed at the rare scene of a tenderness towards the dead. Lincoln leaves, but promises to return. It’s unwise for a child to stay in the transitional realm for long, so some of the ghosts attempt to usher Willy into the next realm. Willie is determined to stay and wait for his father, so the ghosts must concoct a plan to convince him to move on.

Trap. Horrible trap. At one’s birth it is sprung. Some last day must arrive. When you will need to get out of this body. Bad enough. Then we bring a baby here. The terms of the trap are compounded. That baby also must depart. All pleasures should be tainted by that knowledge. But hopeful dear us, we forget. Lord, what is this?

George Saunders is always recommended to me when I mention my love of Helen Phillips, and now I know why! The storytelling is surreal and the imagery is bizarre, sometimes grotesque. Lincoln in the Bardo is both humorous and devastatingly sad. This 368-page book is actually rather short on words (the audiobook is only 7 hours and 25 minutes). Part of it is like a play and the other part is constructed from excerpts of other sources, both real and imagined. Hans Vollman, Roger Bevins, and Reverend Everly Thomas serve as our guides in the transitional stage between life and death. The form these ghosts take relate to unresolved issues at the time of their death. Hans Vollman died before he was able to consummate his marriage, so he walks around naked with a massive, swollen “member.” Roger Bevins became hyper-aware of the world’s beauty right before his death, so he’s covered with eyes, hands, and noses. In a sad twist, these ghosts don’t realize they are dead; they refer to their corpses as “sick-forms” and their coffins as “sick-boxes.” They believe they will resume their lives eventually.

One feels such love for the little ones, such anticipation that all that is lovely in life will be known by them, such fondness for that set of attributes manifested uniquely in each: mannerisms of bravado, of vulnerability, habits of speech and mispronouncement and so forth; the smell of the hair and head, the feel of the tiny hand in yours—and then the little one is gone! Taken! One is thunderstruck that such a brutal violation has occurred in what had previously seemed a benevolent world. From nothingness, there arose great love; now, its source nullified, that love, searching and sick, converts to the most abysmal suffering imaginable.

It was really interesting how fact and fiction work alongside each other in this story. I was amazed at how Saunders juxtaposed pieces from various sources to create a complete picture, especially since many of the reports are contradictory. Some of the historical chapters were especially memorable:
1) Conflicting descriptions of the moon on the night of Willie’s death – There’s something beautiful about the unreliability of our memories.
2) Descriptions of Lincoln’s appearance – He’s described as an ugly man by many, but those who are more closely acquainted see him a little differently.
3) Criticism of the Lincoln during the Civil War – I couldn’t help but think of the modern day while reading the intense and sometimes vulgar criticism of Abraham Lincoln. One of the detractor’s comments would’ve been right at home in a YouTube comment section!
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I was in error when I saw him as fixed and stable and thought I would have him forever. He was never fixed, nor stable, but always just a passing, temporary energy-burst. I had reason to know this. Had he not looked this way at birth, that way at four, another way at seven, been made entirely anew at nine? He had never stayed the same, even instant to instant. He came out of nothingness, took form, was loved, was always bound to return to nothingness.

The heart of the novel is the strength of the bond between President Lincoln and Willie. In one interview, Saunders mentions the idea for this novel started with a vision he had of the Lincoln Memorial and the Pieta combined. That image came through crystal clear in the text, because the first thing I thought of when Lincoln holds is son was Michelangelo’s Pietà. The pathos permeates the pages. Willie’s intense need to be close to his father broke my heart. I felt the immense weight of both grief and the presidency on Abraham Lincoln’s shoulders in a way that I’ve never gotten from my nonfiction reading. As he grieves for his beloved son, he agonizes over the decisions he has made as president. He was intellectually aware of the casualties of war, but there’s a shift in him as he’s forced to deal with the loss of his own son.

We had been considerable. Had been loved. Not lonely, not lost, not freakish, but wise, each in his or her own way. Our departure caused pain. Those who had loved us sat upon their beds, heads in hand; lowered their faces to tabletops, making animal noises. We had been loved, I say, and remembering us, even many years later, people would smile, briefly gladdened at the memory.

I enjoyed the idea of visiting with the other ghosts more as a general idea than in practice. There were so many characters and I didn’t have patience for all of them. Maybe it was that we didn’t get to spend that much time with them. Most of the time I wanted to get back to the Lincolns. A combination of the strange imagery and each ghost’s distinct nineteenth-century speaking style made some of their voices difficult for me to read. The style was sometimes so opaque, that my mind couldn’t penetrate it; sometimes I was just reading words, unable to extract any meaning from them. It didn’t help that the names of the speakers were placed after they spoke, especially with the longer passages. Perhaps that’s less of a concern in audio (distinct voices) or print (easier flipping). The hype around this book intensified my frustration. I checked the average rating after a sixty-page struggle and had one of those “Oh crap! I’m the only person in the world that doesn’t understand this!” moments. If you hit a section that makes you feel more frustration than transcendence, you’re not alone! I’m not saying any of this to discourage anyone from reading it, but to help anyone who is having similar struggles. It was worth it for me to continue through my frustration, because some of my favorite moments are at the end when Lincoln wrestles with decisions about the war.

Pale broken thing. Why will it not work. What magic word made it work. Who is the keeper of that word. What did it profit Him to switch this one off. What a contraption it is. How did it ever run. What spark ran it. Grand little machine. Set up just so. Receiving the spark, it jumped to life. What put out that spark? What a sin it would be. Who would dare. Ruin such a marvel. Hence is murder anathema.

All that being said, there were exceptions. I was touched by the woman who worried about the three daughters she left behind and the stories from the black contingent of ghosts was highly relevant. Some of the most heartbreaking scenes were watching the ghosts cycle through forms they were never able to realize. I’ve never felt more confronted about the transience of life or how our physical bodies are just temporary vessels. Tomorrow is never a guarantee, but it’s easy to forget as we live our day-to-day lives. There’s so much to learn from these ghosts as we see how they view their past lives and learn about their regrets. Somehow everything looks completely different once there are no more chances! I was hopeful that the inhabitants of the cemetery, including Willie, would be able to make peace with themselves and find a way to complete their journey.

He is just one. And the weight of it about to kill me. Have exported this grief. Some three thousand times. So far. To date. A mountain. Of boys. Someone’s boys. Must keep on with it. May not have the heart for it. One thing to pull the lever when blind to the result. But here lies one dear example of what I accomplish by the orders

I don’t always have the easiest time with ghost stories, but the way these ghosts affect President Lincoln reminded me of the power of reading–how it allows the voices and experiences of those real and imagined, dead and alive shape who we are and the influence our viewpoints. As the weight of new experiences overwhelms President Lincoln, a stronger empathy and sense of purpose arise in him. He knows what he must do to preserve the union. Under the disapproving eye of a nation, we watch as he comes to the steadfast conclusion that the “the swiftest halt to the thing (therefore the greatest mercy) might be the bloodiest.” (Hans Vollman’s words)

Reading this novel is a wholly unique experience. It’s brilliant and emotionally powerful, but sometimes confusing (for me). My lack of star rating is not the same as zero–it’s just an indication that I can’t fit this book in any kind of rating system! One, two, or three stars seem too low because there were parts that I was amazed by, but four or five stars doesn’t seem honest to my overall experience. This book is hard to compare to anything else. As far as oddness, eerie atmosphere and the depth of emotion I felt, I was reminded of The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro. For a more resoundingly positive review, I recommend reading Colson Whitehead’s analysis in The New York Times and watching the “immersive narrative short” at the end.

3.5 Stars. I read this at a very appropriate time because I’ve recently been getting the strange sensation that I’m living in the wrong timeline! 😉  I’m going to avoid specific details about the story’s path, but here’s a review summary for those who don’t want to know as little as possible: The tone is lighthearted and self-aware, making it an entertaining read. The main character and his love life didn’t excite me, but I loved the technology, the exploration of different realities, and the questions it raised. The first half was slow because Tom was at max-whininess, but the pace picked up in the second half.

This is how the world changes—two strangers experience a crackle of chemistry.

Tom Barren (32) is from the world we were supposed to have, a technologically-advanced utopia with flying cars and space vacations. Unfortunately, Tom screwed that up for all of us when he traveled back in time to witness the moment that made his world possible. He wakes up in the wrong today—our present. His life is surprisingly more fulfilling, but he feels guilty about erasing the lives of millions of people. Should his loyalties be to the people in his original world or the four people who make his new life so much better? Is salvaging his old world even possible? Everyone is skeptical of Tom’s story. Could Tom’s memories of a Tomorrowland-like reality be delusions? How can he prove that his memories are real without advanced technology of his original world?

“The most complex physics question [is] a breeze compared to the contradictions of the human heart.”

All Our Wrong Todays reminded me so much of Kurt Vonnegut, even before the first Vonnegut reference. The conversational writing style, the absurdity, the way backstories are told, and the use of science fiction to say something larger about humanity. There’s even a scene that happens backward, which reminded me of Slaughterhouse-Five. It turns out that Vonnegut is considered an important philosopher in Tom’s high-tech world. The author pokes some good-natured fun at the science fiction genre and sometimes his own book. He addresses the big problem with most time travel stories, which I had never thought about!

This is how you discover who someone is. Not the success. Not the result. The struggle. The part between the beginning and the ending that is the truth of life.

My favorite part was the mythos surrounding Lionel Goettreider and the Goettreider Engine. The Goettreider Engine is a machine that harnesses the earth’s rotation to generate energy. This invention resulted in everyone’s basic needs being met, so all people need to worry about is being comfortable and entertained. Of course, all the technology in the world can’t sort out the messiness of human emotions! In terms of the ‘main event’, I loved the contrast of the romanticized version Tom learned in school versus what actually happened.

“It’s amazing how much damage one penis can do.”

While the technical aspects of the story immediately appealed to me, I had a harder time with the central character. First-person, single point of view made this a difficult issue to overcome. Tom is my least favorite type of character—a narcissistic, self-described loser who all these women keep sleeping with. He’s completely aware of how repetitive and whiny he is, but that doesn’t stop him! Sometimes it was hard to get too annoyed with him, because he’d read my mind every time I’d start to have a negative thought. A favorite line halfway through: “Maybe right now you’re thinking— okay, why isn’t this story over? Everything kind of worked out for this jackass.” His self-awareness was a little endearing; he apologizes for his narcissism taking over the narrative and not delivering the time-travel book you were expecting. I also wasn’t emotionally invested in the soulmate situation. The lusty infatuation solidified into love so quickly that I never felt an urgency for them to be together in any timeline. I was captivated by another love affair that plays a central role in the story, simply because of quiet moment in a lab.

When you invent a new technology, you also invent the accident of that technology.
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The Accident doesn’t just apply to technology, it also applies to people. Every person you meet introduces the accident of that person to you. What can go right and what can go wrong. There is no intimacy without consequence.

Like much science fiction, the best part were the issues it made me think about. Tom draws several parallels between the fantastic aspects of his story and the ordinary lives we lead. Existing in multiple realities is not just something that happens in a science fiction. As Tom matures, he sees how everyone is complicated and contradictory. We all consist of different versions of ourselves, even some versions we’d rather do without. He sees that time travel isn’t necessary to destroy a world. Our choices can create new realities and significant emotional experiences can make a hidden version of a person dominant. Tom has to learn for himself that beliefs not backed by action are useless and to never stop being open to different possibilities. There’s actually a lot of messages and I think I’d have more trouble narrowing it down if Tom didn’t explicitly state what he wanted us to take away from his story. The central message is that there’s no such thing as the life you are supposed to lead and trying to control your world can have disastrous consequences.

That’s the magic trick of creating life—it takes every bad decision you ever made and makes them necessary footsteps on the treacherous path that brought you home.

While searching for more about a potential film, I found this quote from Elan Mastai’s pitch letter to publishers: “Imagine if Kurt Vonnegut had decided to tell a story like The Time Traveler’s Wife with the narrative voice of Jonathan Tropper.” I can’t really sum it up  better than that! Tom could be exhausting at times and I didn’t feel a strong emotional pull towards him or his love life, but All Our Wrong Todays is entertaining and even made me laugh! I recommend it to anyone looking for an amusing book that allows you to explore new worlds and makes you think. I think Vonnegut fans who read contemporary literary fiction will enjoy it.

I want to say this devoid of any context: I loved Greta!

Maben’s life has been plagued with bad relationships and addiction. She and her young daughter are making the long journey back to her hometown of McComb, Mississippi, in hopes of a second chance. Low on cash, Maben nearly slips back into old habits to make a few bucks. She stops herself at the last second, but there’s someone watching from the shadows ready to exploit her moment of weakness.

Around the same time Maben arrives in town, Russell Gaines is back home after serving eleven years in the state penitentiary. He considers his debt to society paid in full, but there are people not ready to let him off so easily.

The clouds had been gathering in him for a long time now and the storm had arrived. Snuck up on him the way that they sneak up in the summertime with the heavy gray clouds appearing in the western sky and then moving in like vultures and bringing lightning and wind and sometimes there isn’t even time to close the windows. The clouds had been gathering and somebody was going to fucking pay.

“Rough lives get rougher.” These characters have been to hell and back. The story is dark and gritty. In the first 15%, there’s prostitution, rape, death, assault, and a flashback to a tragic drunk driving accident. The story moves along at a deliberate pace, matching the slow and easy pace of the small town. The characters’ pasts are a mystery at first, but all is revealed eventually. There’s a constant tension in the air, because it feels like these characters are heading towards tragedy. The setting was brilliantly drawn. I was able to picture the Mississippi landscapes so vividly in my mind. I grew up in a swampy part of the Gulf Coast, 282 miles/4 driving hours away from McComb. In fact, it’s mentioned that Maben’s little girl was conceived in my hometown! So many aspects of the town felt like home: dingy buildings in various states of disrepair, old trucks, good ‘ol boys, mosquitoes, humidity, and the marshy forest buzzing with wildlife.

She had discovered that once things started to go bad they gathered and spread like some wild, poisonous vine, a vine that stretched across the miles and the years from the shadowy faces she had known to the lines she had crossed to the things that had been put inside her by strangers. It spread and stretched until the vine had consumed and covered her, wrapping itself around her ankles and around her thighs and around her chest and around her throat and wrists and sliding between her legs and as she looked down at the girl with her sunburned forehead and her thin arms she realized that the child was her own dirty hand reaching out of the thicket in one last desperate attempt to grab on to something good.

Don’t let their victim-hood benefits stop them from brand viagra forgiving. They don’t take sex as an enjoyment and create expectations that re viagra 100mg price often difficult to achieve. It is obvious that men and women viagra for sale cheap are both sexually driven at times. These chemicals work wonderfully to amp best price vardenafil up sexual desires and get couples more stimulated. This author excelled making it easy to root for characters that didn’t always make the best decisions. Eventually, I even felt a small bit of empathy for a character who terrorizes Russell:“he would rage against the most striking object of his hate and he would look into the rearview mirror and see that object staring back at him and it was easy to hate the other things but it was always the most crippling to hate himself.” Most of our time is spent with Russell and Maben, but the author slips seamlessly into the minds of several supporting characters. Even minor townspeople we only meet in passing have distinct personalities. The characters prefer to deal with their biggest problems on their own. Russell refuses help from both his dad and an old buddy from high school. Maben’s been burned too many times to think that anyone would help her without a cost.

He had not set out for redemption. Not once thought about it in the years and months and weeks and days that led up to the moment he would be free. But he seemed to have stumbled upon its possibility … and he kept saying and kept thinking that he had paid and paid some more and he was free and clear but there was something uncomfortable in his gut now that made that sentiment feel less and less like a conclusion.

Russell repeatedly says that he’s done his time, but he says it so much that it seems like he’s trying to convince himself. He doesn’t hesitate when the chance for redemption falls in his lap, even at great risk to his own freedom. One of my favorite scenes was a discussion he had with the prison’s preacher about grace. He doesn’t understand how men who have committed terrible crimes get redemption, while their victims struggle to get through the day. The priest wonders if maybe Russell is trying to make himself feel better about his own sins. The characters also wrestle with moral gray areas. Sometimes it’s not as simple as right and wrong and the line between good and bad isn’t so clear cut. Can something that’s wrong on the surface sometimes be a mercy? Can doing what’s technically the wrong thing be the most ethical course?

“Bad shit happens to good people,” he said when she was done.
“Nah. I ain’t a good person. Bad shit happens to everybody,” she said. “I wish to God it’d take a break when you’re trying, though.”

Both Maben and Russell suffer from the heavy burden of guilt. They want a second chance, but they have to forgive themselves first. Maben’s hopes for a second chance are dashed almost as soon as she arrives in town. She knows no one will believe her story. The people who are terrorizing Russell don’t seem to want to stop until he’s dead. How will these two escape their desperate situations? I wasn’t sure that they would. This book deals with some unsavory characters and heavy issues, but I really liked spending a little time in Mississippi each night. I’d love to read more of this author’s work!

How silly it is to assume that what we’re dealing with is not something that will, in turn, deal with us.

Sharon and Mel met while attending the same art program in college and have worked together ever since. Ten years later, their careers have taken off with Nashville Combat, an animated feature based on Mel’s childhood. The success exposes cracks in their relationship. Mel’s antics are taking a toll on the friendship and Sharon feels like she constantly has to babysit her. When Sharon’s capacity for creation is suddenly threatened, everything changes. Sharon has always worried that Mel is the real creative force in the duo, but it turns out that Sharon has her own story to tell–but what will it cost to tell it?

“It’s the greatest thing you can do for something,” [Mel] said. “Giving it movement. Possibility.”

The Animators really appealed to my art-school heart! The writing buzzes with energy. It bounces to several settings and we get to experience New York, Florida, and Kentucky. Sharon and Mel create animated films for an adult audience and the content is gritty and raw. The duo, especially Mel, live a stereotypical artist’s life: dysfunctional families and lots of drugs, alcohol, sex. It rarely felt overbearing, probably because the story is told from Sharon’s point of view and the overlying focus on the act of creation. I did have a semi-panicky moment in the beginning because I wasn’t loving it, even though it matched my interests and was so highly rated. About a quarter of the way through, the course of Sharon’s life is altered and everything fell into place. At that point, I began to see where the story was heading and what was driving the characters. There was one late revelation that I didn’t like. It was a little too much on top of everything else and I thought it toppled into “Really?!” territory. However, it didn’t overshadow my favorite parts!

When she looks up at me, her eyes are big, blank; they seem separated from her face. And I see something I have never seen before in Mel: self-removal. Inside, she has fled. The ability of anyone who has ever been on the receiving end of something violent to grasp the details that remind them of their humiliation—smells, colors, sounds—and blur these details so that they become foreign, someone else’s property. It is a cultivated skill, requiring time, experience, unspeakable mental real estate. It is, for the desperate, the only chance to leave what happened with the part of yourself that is still yours. Children learn it. Boys, but more often, and more closely, girls. When girls learn it, they learn it for the rest of their lives, inventing two separate planes on which they exist—the life of the surface, presented for others, and the life forever lived on the inside, the one that owns you. They will never forget how to make themselves disappear. To blend into the air.

The best part was reading about two talented women creating together. I fell in love with them both, flaws and all. They are complete opposites in almost every way: physical attributes, personality, and what drives them to create. The differences create an interesting dynamic between the two women. Mel likes being at the center of their art, while Sharon uses art to escape. Mel is outgoing and unafraid, always brimming with new ideas. Sharon is the one that reels her back in and pushes them towards a finished product. Mel lives in excess and makes fast friends wherever she goes. Sharon feels like an outsider and is constantly trapped inside her own head. As different as Mel and Sharon are from each other, they both share a passion for their work. They have a strong bond and know each other intimately. Mel is a total mess, but she goes above and beyond when Sharon needs her most. They balance each other out. Mel pushes Sharon forward and, in a way, Sharon keeps Mel grounded.
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A project always begins like a pimple on the back of the neck. You can’t see it, but you can feel it, rising just under the surface. And it drives you crazy. It swells, gains definition, becomes visible. The bigger it gets, the more it presses into the back of your spine. The more it presses, the less you can focus on anything else. Working on it every day is just a way of scratching the itch until you’ve finished its business and it slowly starts to shrink back down.

When Sharon and Mel are engaged in a project, their insatiable need to create radiates off the pages. Their art is portrayed as a living, breathing organism continuously changing, until the final piece is released into the world and continues to morph in the minds of the audience. It’s exhilarating to witness Sharon and Mel bounce ideas off of each other and get absorbed in their work. Sharon and Mel both end up using art to work through their past traumas. What are the benefits and pitfalls of exposing your most vulnerable self to the world? They have to address their pasts to move forward, but is there a cost? Can you use your life in your work without altering what actually happened? How much of your story is yours? What, if any, responsibility do you have to the people you include in your work? They also have to confront the joys and anxieties of having people relate to their work.

I spent years trying to outrun myself, Mel says. Trying to make enough noise to drown myself out. It makes me ashamed to admit this. But it’s okay to let yourself catch up. It’s okay if you work to catch up to the things that have happened to you. You do it for yourself. But also for the people around you. The people who deserve to experience you, undiluted, honest. Your genuine self, given to them.

I liked that the focus was on Sharon, even though sometimes I was dying to get into Mel’s head. I feel like I’ve heard variations of Mel’s story many times before. Even though Sharon is in her thirties, it still feels like a coming-of-age tale. It shows how there’s not some set point where we stop “growing up”: “I’ve spent one of the best nights of my life checking the door for someone who never came. I’m not supposed to be at the margins anymore. I am thirty-one years old. This shrinking feeling was supposed to have been absolved by now.” She has a successful career, but she hasn’t really come into her own yet. We watch as she hopefully overcomes her past to feel more secure in herself and confident in her talent. Sharon is upfront about her creative insecurities. During her college years, she remembers seeing everyone’s work at critique and seeing only what she could do if she was more talented. Even at the pinnacle of success, she sometimes thinks of her art as “a miracle, a freak intersection of luck and circumstance.” I think most creators will be able to relate to the fear that your brain is permanently out of ideas or that you’ve already had your best ideas! She also talks about bouncing between creative pursuits and the fear of committing to one and failing.

The work will always be with you, will come back to you if it leaves, and you will return to it to find that you have, in fact, gotten better, gotten sharper. It happens to you while you are asleep inside. The world in which we work is a place where no one is a ghost, a world in which the potential for anything walks and breathes, alive. And this is reason enough to have faith. To keep going.

One thing I appreciated most about this book is that it surprised me by going places I didn’t expect. It was a fascinating look into hand-drawn animation, an art form I knew little about. However, it doesn’t get too bogged down in the technical and the real heart of the novel is the friendship between Sharon and Mel. I enjoyed witnessing the ebb and flow of Sharon and Mel’s relationship and watching them navigate their personal lives and careers.